10 YEARS A CREATIVE
It’s been 10 years since finishing my design degree at UTS. Since then I’ve worked as a commercial creative in loads of different industries designing brands, strategies, products, menus, uniforms, launch campaigns and everything else you could think of. From plastic surgery, to tyre remediation, boarding houses to angel investors - I’ve worked with people and industries of all sorts.
I’ve learned many lessons and interesting insights about all of these industries and jobs. I may have become somewhat jaded by commercialism - not enough to stop doing it, but enough to come up with a few concepts for products and services that you can almost imagine could exist…
Skincare is 20% science and 80% marketing. Throw in a very superficial generation of hype-driven consumers and you could sell skincare made out of almost anything! Case in point, my activated pony poo face mask could be just the ticket to flawless skin. Never hurts to ambiguously call yourself a social enterprise with little to no justification either.
I must admit that The 4 Hour Work Week had me more excited than season 3 of Rick & Morty, but after so many titles emerging that promise riches with minimal work, I’m starting to see the lighter side of these Xanadu promises. Therefor I’m coining the book (and mini-series) title “Quit Your Job - how to do nothing and get rich”. I will outsource the copywriting to an appropriate developing country and outsource a ghost-writer from another country just to make sure it’s well written. The book cover will be de-bossed cow-hide, produced in another developing country in print runs of 10. I will hire a digital plugger to get my reviews glowing in iBooks and Amazon and before you know it, I’ll be able to put a “Best Seller” sticker on the cover!
All from the comfort of my sweaty lap-top. Netflix is on. All the time.
I love Adam Sandler. Well I LOVED Adam Sandler when he was making movies for the big screen. When there was risk involved in movie-making. I still admire the fact that he can make a “watchable” movie year after year. Is it still called a movie if it goes straight to subscription TV?
This honest title is what I want to see when I log onto my Netflix account. It’s true and it’s predictive and I’ll feel better about my self-torture if the analytics prove that it’s not just me subjective myself to the lobotomy.
I cant resist a good vegan bash only because of the ironic smugness that I face when being preached to. Forget the over-processing of face-less non-animal products that go into producing vegan food, or hectares of forrest and mega-litres of water used to factory grow enough plants to sustain it - what I want to know is “how can I enjoy eating a meal with you guys?”. My solution is TOFU TOWN, a fast-food franchise that specialises in making vegan food accessible to the rest of us cavemen and their advanced vegan minders. I’ve only had time to devise these lush Homogefries but I have grand plans to devise a few more hero products like:
Mushroom Devil Wings